In the public security and safety engineer field we get a lot of questions. Well I have generously taken the time to answer some of these questions so that your knowledge and understanding of what we do will grow somewhat.
Q: Do all cops eat donuts?
A: We call these "power rings". We try to avoid eating them in public to avoid being a walking stereotype, but secretly have boxes hidden around our car and office.
Q: Do I really have the right to remain silent?
A: Yes you do. But please tell us everything anyway. You will get a lot further if you just confess... I mean, narrate your whole story to us in detail. Sometimes though we don't want to hear you talk... but you do anyway, specially when your drunk. I really don't care what you did that involved booze, a cat, a hamster, a taco, and duct tape.
Q: How do I avoid a speeding ticket?
A: Ummm... don't break the law, or do it when we are not around.
Q: How do I get out of a speeding ticket?
A: Honesty, and politeness... or have a much faster car than we have.
Q: What does being pepper sprayed feel like?
A: Well right at first it doesn't hurt but after a few seconds it feels like someone is putting a belt sander to your face, followed by a rabid squirrel eating your eyes out. Then you get the horse snot coming out of your nose that makes you look attractive. This goes on for about 20 minutes.
I hope this has shed some light to any curiosities you may have. If you have any questions that you want answered in front of everybody shoot an email to "donutlog@gmail.com" (without the quotes). Now go play somewhere else.
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